What is Unconditional Love

Do you think you know what comprises the qualities and aspects of unconditional love? I am not referring to what you may think or believe what love is at a Conscious level. Does your Subconscious Mind have a program which will allow you to accept and demonstrate the behaviour which comprises unconditional love? In the thirty years I have been in practice I have met only five people who could demonstrate they knew what unconditional love is. The main cause of this is by the time we are born we have picked up all the fear, rejection and all the other negative programs that our mother is carrying in her mind. These are active programs which are assimilated into the fetus's cellular memory in utero. The soul and spirit which enter the body to cause it become alive only know unconditional love, yet they have become blocked because our body is our mind as a result all the fear based programs which are locked into the cellular memory of our body during the nine month in utero period will overwrite the soul and spirits ability to stop these programs from activating at birth which causes rejection.

When a child is born they know what unconditional love is so they will demand they get unconditional love from their mother. If she does not know what it is they the child will act out crying and putting on tantrums to get the mothers attention. If she does not know why the child is acting out she may discipline the child or avoid them. This is interpreted by the child as rejection and abandonment. If the mother continues this action toward the child The child will feel mother is withholding love, acceptance and recognition. If this behaviour continues over a a year or more the child will ten begin to accept and believe the behaviour mothers is the way she is treating them is what love is.

If the baby knows that he/she is not the desired gender the parents want, it locks rejection in further. If the baby is not wanted due to any form of rejection by birth parents or from a mistake or any other conflict which the parents may be thinking, feeling or any attitude or behaviour which may cause a feeling of not being wanted it locks rejection in further. Religious beliefs that state we are born in sin further locks in these programs. As a result only 30% of the children have a chance at feeling loved at birth. This drops to less than 1% as they begin to grow up.

On the positive side, if the mother has supportive feelings about herself with the ability to demonstrate true love with support from her family and has a strong enough mind to make a commitment to herself that she will not bring a child into the world and raise them as her parents did, plus has support from the father in the same manner then the baby has a chance to be born in love in a supportive world.

This what my wife and I decided to accomplish. It took six years in relationship before we decided we could have children without causing a rejection reaction that we felt as children. Very few parents even think or plan their family. It just happens. When we felt we had our parents basic imprinting in control, we felt it was safe to have a child. This is an extremely important quality. It can only happen if the parents have a strong identity and belief in themselves. Very few people have this developed in their thirties or forties let alone their twenties when most people have children. We were in our thirties when our children were born so our identity of who we were had been firmly established.

We also decided to only have two and keep them five years apart so there would not be any conflicts. They grew up knowing they could trust us and know that we would be there for them and not react in negative ways. As a result they grew up in unconditional love. They have self esteem, self worth, and self confidence. They have never been sick or suffered from any illness at any time in their life. I addition to this they never missed a day of school.

We have to make these decisions before we have children so we don't foul up their lives. We control their computer programming input until they are 10 years old so it is very important we do not invade their space with negative behaviour or forceful attitudes and actions cause them to be afraid of us. We have to develop trust and respect in them.

Very few people know what love is in any form. Some people may be able to act out what they think love is by definition. The conflict is not very clear to most people because they have never had a love model in their life. Love is a quality that comes from a basic feeling of being accepted, approved, validated and acknowledged for who you are as a child. To activate the values of unconditional love in your life you must have been born into a functional family that displayed and practiced unconditional love in their family lifestyle. If this was not learned in childhood or you have not worked through your childhood issues of rejection, abandonment, not being accepted, feeling not all right, self rejection, lack of value and many other feeling and emotions that are from dysfunctional families then this produce more dysfunctional behaviour. Without those qualities you will not have self esteem, self worth or self confidence. These are cluster qualities which means they can not exist separately they must all be functional in your life or they are not able to be demonstrated to children.

When we are from a dysfunctional family we may not know the causes because we are living in an illusion due to being buried in our Subconscious Minds data base in denial. We do not want to revisit those feelings so we have locked them out of our conscious awareness. They are still filed in our data base, but we can not find them. When I check a person with Kinesiology (muscle testing) using a persons arm as an indicator device to find out if they are willing to bring up all the negative feeling, attitudes and experiences from the past so we can release them I always get a no response. Why would we get this response if a person wants to clear the past so they can get on with their life? Because nobody wants to revisit the traumatic experiences of the past. They are locked up so why not keep them that way. Unfortunately they must be released, but we do not have go back and experience the struggle, suffering and trauma over again. We can lump it altogether and release them in a short time with the Energy Medicine process. But we have to access them to find base cause and core issues.

For the more than 80 years the movie industry and the media has misrepresented what love is. This has caused a serious breakdown in family life styles and social culture. We are not talking about romance or sex which is unfortunately played up in most of the media as love. What love means is very different from the popular media version.

What love is not: The thumping feeling that causes us to be attracted to someone. Being swept off your feet over a romance or Sexual attraction. Love is not an emotion it is a feeling. It must come from an internal source within us. It is something you grow into when you find a person who has similar attitudes, feeling and desires. Love has nothing to do with sex even though that is the way it played up in the media.

So what does this do to us when we see all the conflicts on the media about these people who are supposed to be our idols which leads to further conflicts? All you have to do is look at the number of young people who back out of life in suicide. The numbers had gone up 800% in the last 40 years. Many feel lost because they can't find love and happiness. They never will with the media model. If their parents model was dysfunctional them where do you go to find the model to follow? Many people are attending seminars and workshops on personal growth and transformation to find a new path in life. If you are on the rocks already, marriage counseling very seldom works. Very few therapist are adept enough to locate the cause which caused you to make the choice. First you have to find out how you ended up making the improper choice before you can change the behaviour. If you do not find out why you are making improper choices you will do it again, again and again until change the behaviour.

Unconditional love is a form of acceptance without need to prove anything. Love is kindness and caring without any judgment or control. It is acceptance of others as they are without the need to change, control or to require any specific action. Love has no needs it only gives.
Dr. Art Martin