Rabu, 24 Juni 2009

The Fantasy of Love

Love Is A Emotional Roller Coaster.

What is more thrilling to the ear then the sound of, “I Love You”? Songs are written about it, movies excite our senses as lovers stroll into the sunset. Tears dribble down our cheek as our children peer into our eyes and say, “ I love you.” The heart flutters and it feels as if it will jump into the mouth, the first time a true love is kissed.

It’s said, love makes the world go round, but does it really? Is it real or just a fantasy?

People Don’t Know How To Act.

People are expected to respond in a certain way where love in involved. We see advertisements, movies, hear lyrics and read stories of love. But wait, how does a person know if it is love or just physical attraction? Is our senses being duped? Are we subjects of the merchants and social expectancy? Let’s face it, people can procreate and rear children without the help of love.

Keep On Walking When Love Comes A knocking

When does one fall in love, at first sight, after a courting period or after the commitment speech? In today’s world, in the United States, couples choose to live together, have children but not commit to marriage. The traditional family, as we knew it in past years is in danger of extinction. The family unit has become so fractured that we can’t define it anymore. And love . . . where has it gone? What value does it have? How does one explain its emotion?

Finding a mate has become commercialized through Internet dating services, speed dating and personal columns in newspapers. Has love been reduced to social clubs and Internet social websites? Then there are the enhanced products for people to improve their appearance. What a deception, there are no guarantees of what you see is what you get.

What Is Acceptable?

Now it’s acceptable by many people to have a “close encounter” on the first date. No getting to know you, just dating for pleasure. There is no substance in today’s courting process. Maybe its my age speaking, but I believe, “today’s deviations are tomorrows norms.” If you don’t believe it just look around at the progression of human behavior over the past fifty years. I can hear you know. “We don’t to be old fashion.” You’re right. Cars, airplanes, TVs and microwave ovens are great and to own them is fashionable. Human relations has not changed, people are the same now as they were yesteryear.

The Meaning Of Love Is Lost

Love used to mean something. There was a certain excitement in knowing someone loved you and you loved them. You looked forward to seeing your love after a day’s work. Our Nation was built on family values and love of freedom. Now, no more values, morals, and freedom . . . well, it’s taken for granted.

It’s Only A Hollywood Production

Love is a fantasy in the minds of Hollywood, a way to cash in on human emotion. The quest for love sells product and keeps candles lit restaurants in business. A lovers moon is only a symbolism in romance books. We look for it, we are broken hearted when it doesn’t happen and the bars are full of those who lost it.

I’m beginning to believe is not only a fantasy it is a travesty. People kill, commit suicide, rob banks and die of broken hearts all in the name of love.

Pure Love Is Not Forgotten

So love, the purest emotion to humans has suffered the same fate as morals, values and trust. They have all become yesterdays old fashion ideology. Now people fantasize about love and have forgotten how to experience the essence of it. They have become confused and don’t know what to expect of love.

Demand A New Political Correctness

Maybe one day love will regain its rightful place in the human heart. Maybe swooning will again be popular. And the White House will once again become white.

Happy Trails

About the Author:

“Donald Yates, former Development coordinator for Imperial Research, Author, and Spiritual Adviser. Continues to engage life through self discovery. Learn how you can also. Go to.”

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Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - The Fantasy of Love

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What is Unconditional Love

Do you think you know what comprises the qualities and aspects of unconditional love? I am not referring to what you may think or believe what love is at a Conscious level. Does your Subconscious Mind have a program which will allow you to accept and demonstrate the behaviour which comprises unconditional love? In the thirty years I have been in practice I have met only five people who could demonstrate they knew what unconditional love is. The main cause of this is by the time we are born we have picked up all the fear, rejection and all the other negative programs that our mother is carrying in her mind. These are active programs which are assimilated into the fetus's cellular memory in utero. The soul and spirit which enter the body to cause it become alive only know unconditional love, yet they have become blocked because our body is our mind as a result all the fear based programs which are locked into the cellular memory of our body during the nine month in utero period will overwrite the soul and spirits ability to stop these programs from activating at birth which causes rejection.

When a child is born they know what unconditional love is so they will demand they get unconditional love from their mother. If she does not know what it is they the child will act out crying and putting on tantrums to get the mothers attention. If she does not know why the child is acting out she may discipline the child or avoid them. This is interpreted by the child as rejection and abandonment. If the mother continues this action toward the child The child will feel mother is withholding love, acceptance and recognition. If this behaviour continues over a a year or more the child will ten begin to accept and believe the behaviour mothers is the way she is treating them is what love is.

If the baby knows that he/she is not the desired gender the parents want, it locks rejection in further. If the baby is not wanted due to any form of rejection by birth parents or from a mistake or any other conflict which the parents may be thinking, feeling or any attitude or behaviour which may cause a feeling of not being wanted it locks rejection in further. Religious beliefs that state we are born in sin further locks in these programs. As a result only 30% of the children have a chance at feeling loved at birth. This drops to less than 1% as they begin to grow up.

On the positive side, if the mother has supportive feelings about herself with the ability to demonstrate true love with support from her family and has a strong enough mind to make a commitment to herself that she will not bring a child into the world and raise them as her parents did, plus has support from the father in the same manner then the baby has a chance to be born in love in a supportive world.

This what my wife and I decided to accomplish. It took six years in relationship before we decided we could have children without causing a rejection reaction that we felt as children. Very few parents even think or plan their family. It just happens. When we felt we had our parents basic imprinting in control, we felt it was safe to have a child. This is an extremely important quality. It can only happen if the parents have a strong identity and belief in themselves. Very few people have this developed in their thirties or forties let alone their twenties when most people have children. We were in our thirties when our children were born so our identity of who we were had been firmly established.

We also decided to only have two and keep them five years apart so there would not be any conflicts. They grew up knowing they could trust us and know that we would be there for them and not react in negative ways. As a result they grew up in unconditional love. They have self esteem, self worth, and self confidence. They have never been sick or suffered from any illness at any time in their life. I addition to this they never missed a day of school.

We have to make these decisions before we have children so we don't foul up their lives. We control their computer programming input until they are 10 years old so it is very important we do not invade their space with negative behaviour or forceful attitudes and actions cause them to be afraid of us. We have to develop trust and respect in them.

Very few people know what love is in any form. Some people may be able to act out what they think love is by definition. The conflict is not very clear to most people because they have never had a love model in their life. Love is a quality that comes from a basic feeling of being accepted, approved, validated and acknowledged for who you are as a child. To activate the values of unconditional love in your life you must have been born into a functional family that displayed and practiced unconditional love in their family lifestyle. If this was not learned in childhood or you have not worked through your childhood issues of rejection, abandonment, not being accepted, feeling not all right, self rejection, lack of value and many other feeling and emotions that are from dysfunctional families then this produce more dysfunctional behaviour. Without those qualities you will not have self esteem, self worth or self confidence. These are cluster qualities which means they can not exist separately they must all be functional in your life or they are not able to be demonstrated to children.

When we are from a dysfunctional family we may not know the causes because we are living in an illusion due to being buried in our Subconscious Minds data base in denial. We do not want to revisit those feelings so we have locked them out of our conscious awareness. They are still filed in our data base, but we can not find them. When I check a person with Kinesiology (muscle testing) using a persons arm as an indicator device to find out if they are willing to bring up all the negative feeling, attitudes and experiences from the past so we can release them I always get a no response. Why would we get this response if a person wants to clear the past so they can get on with their life? Because nobody wants to revisit the traumatic experiences of the past. They are locked up so why not keep them that way. Unfortunately they must be released, but we do not have go back and experience the struggle, suffering and trauma over again. We can lump it altogether and release them in a short time with the Energy Medicine process. But we have to access them to find base cause and core issues.

For the more than 80 years the movie industry and the media has misrepresented what love is. This has caused a serious breakdown in family life styles and social culture. We are not talking about romance or sex which is unfortunately played up in most of the media as love. What love means is very different from the popular media version.

What love is not: The thumping feeling that causes us to be attracted to someone. Being swept off your feet over a romance or Sexual attraction. Love is not an emotion it is a feeling. It must come from an internal source within us. It is something you grow into when you find a person who has similar attitudes, feeling and desires. Love has nothing to do with sex even though that is the way it played up in the media.

So what does this do to us when we see all the conflicts on the media about these people who are supposed to be our idols which leads to further conflicts? All you have to do is look at the number of young people who back out of life in suicide. The numbers had gone up 800% in the last 40 years. Many feel lost because they can't find love and happiness. They never will with the media model. If their parents model was dysfunctional them where do you go to find the model to follow? Many people are attending seminars and workshops on personal growth and transformation to find a new path in life. If you are on the rocks already, marriage counseling very seldom works. Very few therapist are adept enough to locate the cause which caused you to make the choice. First you have to find out how you ended up making the improper choice before you can change the behaviour. If you do not find out why you are making improper choices you will do it again, again and again until change the behaviour.

Unconditional love is a form of acceptance without need to prove anything. Love is kindness and caring without any judgment or control. It is acceptance of others as they are without the need to change, control or to require any specific action. Love has no needs it only gives.
Dr. Art Martin

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Selasa, 16 Juni 2009

Real Love: What is Real Love?

Most people would love to have "real love," yet often they have no idea what real love is. Take a moment to think about how you would define real love.

Defining love is like defining a particular color to a person who has never been able to see color - you have to feel it know what it is. The reason it is hard to define real love is because you cannot experience it with your mind, and definitions are of the mind. Real love is a feeling that is the result of your intention to BE LOVING.

This very different than the intention to BE LOVED. The desire to be loved comes from the ego wounded part of ourselves, the part that believes we need to get love from others in order to feel filled and worthy - that real love is something we get rather than something we are and something we share.

This is what creates the confusion regarding love.

Real love is what you are - what your soul is - a spark of the Divine within. Love is what God/Spirit is. When your deepest desire is to be loving to yourself and others, this desire opens your heart and you become filled with the love that is as ubiquitous as the air you breathe. This is real love - the experience of Spirit that fills the emptiness within and lets you know that you are never alone.

Real Love in a Relationship

What about real love with another person? How do we know when we are experiencing real love?

Real love is what we experience when two or more people come together with open hearts already filled with love, and the love from their hearts overflows as it is openly and joyously shared.

If you come to a relationship with a feeling of emptiness and unworthiness, you cannot experience real love. Real love is not the cake - it is the icing on the cake. The cake needs to be the love that comes through you from Spirit, and the icing is the love you share with another or others.

If you expect another's love to be the cake, then you will not experience real love, because you are coming from a closed heart and inner emptiness. REAL LOVE DOES NOT NEED ANYTHING FROM ANOTHER PERSON. It is like a waterfall flowing down inside from Spirit, filling the lake within and then flowing out in rivers and streams as it is shared others. However, when the heart is closed, then the lake is empty and becomes like a bottomless sinkhole, desperately attempting to suck love, attention and approval from others.

If you want to experience real love within a relationship, then you need to open - through your desire to BE LOVING - to unconditional love coming through you. You need to invite God-which-is-Love into your heart and become filled with it.

The challenge here is that you cannot desire to GET LOVE and BE LOVING at the same time. The intent to get love will always lead to a closed heart and controlling behavior, which shuts out love. The intent to be loving and to learn what is loving to yourself and others in any given moment is what opens the heart. When you choose the intent to be loving with yourself and others, you will experience real love

About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Ready to join the thousands who have discovered real love and intimacy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Real Love: What is Real Love?

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Rabu, 10 Juni 2009

Looking for Love

What does it mean to be looking for love? What kind of love are you looking for and from whom. What I mean is that there are all kinds of love. The love you feel for your significant other, the unconditional love you get from your kids, the love you feel for a certain kind of food (chocolate?), or even the love that comes from having a pet. Let's face it, looking for love can mean all sorts of things to different people. But if your looking for the love of another person to share your life with, then what do you do? You can go out with friends and hit the bars, but bars are notoriously bad places to meet the love of your life. Sure, you may meet someone and hit it off, but as most of us know picking up someone in a bar and living in a state of happy bliss the rest of your life with them is very realistic. Now if your looking for someone to just have some fun with maybe the bar route is a good idea. One of my favorites is the blind date. These are usually set up for you by friends, co-workers, family members, etc. The problem here is what they may think is a good match is probably not what you are looking for. Nobody really knows what you are looking for other than you. Sure, they say you will like this person, or you two will get along just fine, but until you meet them you just don't know, and that can be kind of scary. Of course there is the old tried and true just meet someone doing something you like because at least then you share that in common. This isn't necissarily true if you meet them at the grocery store because we all need to eat. If you're both reaching for the same frozen pizza you could say you have that in common, but is that something to base a relationship off of. If your looking for love and I mean really looking then you need to find someone that you can share your every want and need and thought and desire with. Someone compatable with who you are as a person. In the past this was largely a hit and miss proposition, but with the advent of online dating services it has become much easier to find that special someone. If you think about it an online date starts out as a blind date but you actually get to know the person before you ever meet them. You are also matched up with people who fit the description of the type of person you would be most compatable with, which takes the stress out of meeting someone who shares more than one thing in common with you. You know, just because you meet someone at the gym doesn't mean that they share your same interests other than being in shape. The online dating world provides a simple way for those who are looking for love to find it. No more trying to meet someone on your own or through friends and co-workers. No more blind dates with someone your best friend thinks you'll hit it off with. A dating service is about the closest you can get to finding the real love of your life without ever leaving the comfort of your own home. Or does being set up with Gus from your mom's office sound like a better proposition.
About the Author:

Andrew Bicknell is a writer and owner of Romancing Hearts.com. Please visit his website for more advice about Online dating, Romance, and Matchmaking.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Looking for Love

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How to Get a Guy Back In 10 Days

You've probably seen the romantic comedy film "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," a film about a young journalist keen on landing her hit article. When she got the opportunity to pitch in an idea to her editor, who accepted it, she embarks on a journey to make a guy fall for her only to "lose" him in 10 days. A funny and telling film about relationships and how both men and women act based on certain circumstances. What I have here are tips on how to do the exact opposite: how to get a guy back in 10 days.

Let's start with the break up. Yesterday he broke up with you so you find yourself still in bed, with a box of Kleenex at hand, crying for ten hours straight. Your mom has been up and down the house trying to get you to have breakfast and lunch with them but you just couldn't find the energy to get out of the room.

What's the use of eating when the reason for living is already gone? The first thing you need to do if you want to know how to get a guy back in 10 days is to cut the crap and act like a matured woman.

You won't be able to make your ex look again in your way if you are a train wreck. If anything, he will only feel arrogant about breaking up with you because by seeing you crumble and self-destruct, he'll know that he is your world. Give yourself more credit and a lot of respect. Do not let him or anyone see how terrible you are. It's alright to feel horrible but don't let others see it. You must learn to pick up the pieces and deal with the pain.

Next, you have to start making yourself look better than ever. Don't be like the others who binge on foods and gain more weight. Instead, go to the gym, work out to become healthier and slimmer. The right way to deal with a break up is to improve your appearance. This will help you get your ex boyfriend's attention.

Then, work on your personality. If you feel like you have some things you need to work on improving, now is the perfect time to do so. If you do that, you will appear more to your ex. For sure, he will notice the change in you. And hopefully, this will make him want to see more of your new and improved personality.

Make sure your lines of communications are open in case your ex wants to drop you a line or two. And make sure he is aware of this fact. This is a subtle way of telling him you are interested in taking him back if he wants to.

Ask your friends to discreetly tell him where you are at certain times in case he wants to catch you. This will provide you with an opportunity to speak with him and consider chances of getting back together.

While doing all these things, remember that you should play a bit hard to get. This works every time-just make sure you don't overdo it. Put your personality and charm into work. I guarantee you, with the help of these tips, how to get a guy back in 10 days will be a breeze.

Just broke up?

Want to find out how you can get a guy back fast and easy? We have the right tools to help you in your pursuit of a second chance at love.

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About the Author:

For Articles, Tips and Advice on Winning Back Hearts, Dealing With A Break Up and Getting Your Ex Lover Back, visit Tips To Get Your Ex Back.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - How to Get a Guy Back In 10 Days

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Break Up Letters to Boyfriends

Let's be clear: letters should never be endorsed as the sole means of ending a relationship with anyone. That's right, even if that boyfriend of yours is a complete loser, even if he wrecked your car, stole, cheated, or did every vile thing short of physical abuse, the way to end the relationship is with direct, unequivocal face time. The reason for this is simple and is as much for your benefit as it is for his: if you really want a relationship over (no, really), the only way to make your point clear is to do with words delivered live and in person.

However, we also know that when relationships end, few people possess the where-with-all and collective coolness to end things saying everything they'd like to say. Therefore, it's very possible that when all's said and done, you may want a little added closure. What better way to do that than with a "break-up letter?" Letters have a number of advantages that phone calls, person-to-person talking, and definitely text messages don't. You get to think them through, can make a copy for yourself, and even reminisce a bit. Plus they're pretty easy. So let's buckle down and get the thing written. Here are some top pointers:

*Be kind. Before you get ready to blast that boyfriend with unkind quips, inappropriate anatomical jokes, and downright cruel anecdotes, stop yourself. A break-up letter is hard to write, sure, but it can be even harder to read, so why not do everyone a favor and end things gracefully? And if you do need a chance to vent, a night out with the ladies should take care of that. 'Nuff said.

*Mention a few good things about the relationship. Unless boyfriend has seriously messed up and say, broken your heart, it's appropriate to reminisce about his surprise birthday party. Or that date that ended in food poisoning. Or that long-awaited vacation together. Mentioning these will make the break-up less painful and likely tone down any letter's drama.

*It's okay to say what went wrong. Especially if you're the one ending the relationship, it's fair to (tactfully) explain why you think things went awry. This isn't the blame game, and mentioning your own weaknesses is also appropriate. Doing so will provide closure for both, and may help your future relationships.

About the Author:

Click here to read the complete guide and gain access to a comprehensive and free relationship guide including letter samples!

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Break Up Letters to Boyfriends

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Selasa, 09 Juni 2009

4 Stress Free Tips to Help Write Personal Wedding Vows

Getting married is one of the most joyous and memorable times in your life. Part of your wedding plans could include writing your own wedding vows. For some people, the idea of writing your own personalized vows can be intimidating and daunting. Understandably so since you will be saying your vows of commitment and love to your significant other in front of all your family and friends.

However, writing your own personalized wedding vows does not need to cause fear or stress. Just follow these simple, easy tips below and you will be writing vows your future spouse will love.

Write from your heart. Whatever you choose to write should come from your heart. Your honest, true feelings and words are wha twill make your vows special.

Keep your to your natural writing style. Your goal is not to write like a poet or the next piece of classical literature.

Make a list of all the things you love about your future spouse. Include the commitments you want to make as well. Review your list and decide what parts you want to keep or eliminate.

Finally, remember shorter is better. You can say quite a bit in a short amount of time. Plus, your family and friends will thank you for not reciting a twenty minute speech.

By following these four simple and easy tips, you are sure to write personalized wedding vows your future spouse will love. Now, pick up your pen and paper and get to work!

Still need more help? Get help fast to write personalized wedding vows.

About the Author:

Do you feel stressed from trying to plan your wedding? Still feel like you need more help planning your dream wedding? Don't waste any more time! Get all the wedding planning tips articles, book recommendations and help you need to plan the perfect wedding. Go to http://www.stressfreeweddingplanning.com today!

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - 4 Stress Free Tips to Help Write Personal Wedding Vows

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A Little Romance Can Enhance Your Love Life

Nothing can enhance your love life better than a little romance. Enhancing your love life is something that every long term relationship eventually requires. Sooner or later your love life will be affected by the regular stresses of everyday life and many other factors that may make your love life seem lacking. Often we hear that our partners are too tired to make love or perhaps there is a problem in the relationship that make love making just a bit more difficult than it used to be. So many aspects of our daily lives are affected and reflected in our personal relationships. This is when learning how to enhance your love life becomes very important.

For starters it helps for you to be able to incorporate playfulness in the bedroom. Being playful in the bedroom is a key factor to you having fun during lovemaking. It also helps you to get closer to your mate.

Learning how to become more spontaneous when it comes to love making can also help you to improve your love life. The reason for this is because it lets your mate know that you still find them sexy and attractive, which is the key to a great love life.

You can add romance feeding one another, having a romantic moonlight picnic and much more. Here are some more romantic tips for adding some romance to your love life: • Lighting some candles may sound like a cliché, but it still works. It sets the right mood lighting • Placing some flower petals around the room will add romance and a lovely aroma to enhance the sexual experience. • Taking a nice bath together is always a romantic favorite • Taking the time for foreplay is very important to romance • A little bit of making out is always romantic and can help you remember how wonderful it was to experience the first kiss • Spending some time cuddling and talking beforehand can be very romantic to the love making process. It is very erotic

There are many things that you can do to make your love life better. Romance is the best way to break into your mate's heart and lower their inhibitions. If you have ever heard of the phrase "you can catch more flies with honey", you will definitely understand why romance is so important to your love life. A little romance goes a long way in the bedroom.


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One must understand whether "what is love" can be a question which can be answered? Love cannot be a question. For, if it is a question then an answer should be there. If the answer is there, where is it? This question is ancient and an answer should have been found by now! If the answer has been found, the question would have disappeared.

But the question still remains, meaning the answer has not been found. If it has not been found as yet, then what is the certainty that it will be found? Maybe the mind can never find the answer! A single answer, which will please all minds, is not possible for each mind has its own ideas of love. Hence a universal answer is an illusion.

Individual answers are there for love and for this very reason there are arguments about love for each mind will contradict the answer of another mind. This contradiction is normal for each mind lives in a different point in time. Hence "what is love" is an illusionary question, which has no answer!

The word love appears in many contexts: there's maternal love, familial love, romantic love, sexual love, a wider love for fellow humans and religious love for God, to name but a few. Some cultures have ten or more words for different forms of love, and poets and songwriters always find myriad aspects of love to celebrate.

The science of love is still in its infancy. Yet scientists are beginning to get early insights into the nature and origin of love. We can now look inside human brains to view changing patterns of activity and biochemical changes that take place during love, explore diverse human experiences of love, study how we select mates and woo lovers, and look for the evolutionary roots of love.

Is there anything universal behind all this diversity? As Pope Benedict recently asked in his first encyclical letter: "Are all the forms of love basically one, so that love, in its many and varied manifestations, is ultimately a single reality?"

Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept love usually refers to a strong, ineffable feeling towards another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

The English word love can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Often, other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts which English relies mainly on love to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love". Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus make it doubly difficult to establish any universal definition.

Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't "love". As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, though other definitions of the word love may be applied to close friendships in certain contexts. When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself.

And there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to The Beatles' "All you need is love". Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value", as opposed to relative value.

Peck maintains that love is a combination of the "concern for the spiritual growth of another", and simple narcissism. In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.

Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views — certainly love is influenced by hormones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love. The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love — sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate). Companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.

Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness. Love creates activity in the same area of the brain that hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity in. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional. Over time, this reaction to love mellows, and different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments. To love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out.

How do you define love?

Some say it's mysterious, magical, complex, difficult, imaginary, thought-provoking, inspirational, intuitional, joyous, immeasurable, ecstasy, and undefinable. Perhaps.

In one of Dr. John Gray's audio cassettes he defines love as follows: "Love is a feeling directed at someone who acknowledges their goodness."

On the same cassette, he refers to the definition by M. Scott Peck: "The willful intent to serve the well being of another."

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

My favorite is by Paramahansa Yogananda: "To describe love is very difficult, for the same reason that words cannot fully describe the flavor of an orange. You have to taste the fruit to know its flavor. So with love."

Love itself is a universal experience. Yet, every individual occurrence - while perhaps bound by a common thread - seems absolutely unique. Love is what love is! To everyone it expresses itself differently.

love is the answer to "all" questions!

It is important to stand in Love, not fall into it.

Could it be that Love is a story that can never be fully expressed?

Love is a bond or connection between two people that results in trust, intimacy, and an interdependence that enhances both partners. It is the ability and willingness to allow those you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you.

Making Love is the highest level and the most loving way we can physically express or demonstrates our love for our love partner. Everyone knows that the sexual experience can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most stress-relieving, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable.

When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't Love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still Love you, they Love you even more.

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. -

Logic says everything in this world has a cause and an effect. True Love is the only feeling which is its own cause and its own effect. It is something illogical and yet above all logic. I Love her because I Love her, and I Love her so I Love her.

Love is comforting someone in need of Love and having them know that somebody cares. It is looking past imperfections in your partner and seeing the beautiful person inside. True love seeks the happiness and well being of your partner. Love expresses itself in the mutual respect you demonstrate to your partner.

To demonstrate Love. . . say, "I Love you" - out loud - at least once each day to someone you love. There is magic in these three little words. Saying "I love you" is the most beautiful gift you can give to your partner. These words are the most treasured a person can hear. To be different, say, "I Love you" in a foreign language.

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Rabu, 03 Juni 2009

Love Itself

We've all heard this before: Fear is the opposite of love and faith. Fear is a good indicator that we're not living in the present moment and we've forgotten to seek out solitude.

I had a friend once who was driven to get rid of fear in his and his familie's life to such an extent that he took his family up in a private plane, ignoring the pleas of his 8 year old daughter not to go, and crashed into the side of a mountain in Northern California.

They were instantly killed.

We were doing river rafting trips together down the Klamath River. This was his summer business and I worked with and for him.

He was consumed by the need to get rid of all fear. I could not grasp this concept nor get into his enthusiasm for this goal. And when all 4 of these wonderful people met an untimely death, I began to see fear as a teacher in life. It exists in all of our lives for a reason.

The elimination of inner fear is worthy of our focus. I believe my friend became confused about what kind of fear could or could not be dealt with by self-will or god/ess will.

Resistance to life is the #1 fear I am working on, for instance. I am a night person and resist getting out of bed every single day.

I go to a conference every Wednesday morning. High ranking doctors and residents attend these. I always perceive them to be arrogant and unfriendly.

So I resist going there, but go, anyway.

I began to figure out that if I get rid of the resistance, and embrace what is and make peace of mind my only goal in life, then there will be a break through with all this resistance.

Today, I actively concentrated on the antidote to fear--Love and Enthusiasm for the new day. I got out of bed, did my meditation and duties with an inner sense of optimism.

I got to the conference and authentically felt good natured towards every one there. I smiled. One of the doctors who never seemed to like me, greeted me like a long lost comrade.

I sat next to the department head of OB/Gyn and greeted her as a dear friend.

I purposely beamed love to everyone in the room. When a negative or judgmental thought arose about anyone there, I immediately relinquished this to god/ess.

"The love (god/christ/buddha/krishna/allah) within me blesses that which is within you."

Another fear antidote is the practice of Ho'oponopono. The simplicity of it makes it very easy to remember. The phrases: I love you, Thank you, Please forgive me and I am sorry are inwardly chanted at all times.

Drs Len and Vitale, co-authors of "Zero Limits" about Ho'oponopono as a spiritual practice, have simplified the practice even further to the one phrase: I love you.

However, I also always say thank you because of the power of gratitude, also a fear busting agent.

I cannot explain how this works, only that it does. Inwardly chanting these phrases in whatever order (or no order) cures insomnia, anxiety, fear, depression and feelings of alienation.

Simple practices such as Ho'oponopono bring peace to the birth and death beds as well as the sick bed. When the nurse or healer is calm then everything around her is at peace.

Ho'oponopono is a tool to use at all times, as mentioned, but in times of conflict, miscommunication or emergency, this practice serves a great purpose. The practice may even prevent further trauma, chaos or death.

Or if death is inevitable, a peaceful death will manifest.

This practice or the spiritual practice of your choice creates happy and balanced days. Every moment is an opportunity for spiritual growth.

As long as I align my center of focus on Love, fear and resistance vanishes.

After my friend and his family perished in the airplane crash, I wrote stories about my friendship with him. I wrote letters to him explaining how much I loved him and his beautiful family.

One day soon after I wrote my story, my niece and I pulled up next to a car at a red light.

The driver of that car looked over at us. It looked just like our friend.

He smiled broadly and looked happy and other worldly. We both saw an illuminated quality around his head.

Then he took off as he waved a goodbye.

My niece and I said: "Did you see that?"

We compared notes and we both saw him the same way--as a fearless and illuminated light being.

So we both were able to let him go.

We knew that his own death finally conquered the fear he was resisting.

We also were fearless about death, as a result.

About the Author:


Kate Loving Shenk is a writer, healer, musician and the creator of the e-book called "Transform Your Nursing Career and Discover Your Calling and Destiny." Click here to find out how to order the e-book: http://www.nursingcareertransformation.com Check Out Kate's Blog: http://www.nursehealers.typepad.com -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Love Itself

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Channel for Love

I just saved a Bull Frog in the cistern we are restoring in our 100 year old barn. She is a beautiful creature and has lived there for for perhaps more than a year. But since we are about to do some Rata Penuhheavy duty construction on the barn's foundation, I needed to go down through a very narrow hole to retrieve her.

I grabbed her with two hands and looked into her eyes before placing her in a plastic jar to hand to Tom, my husband, who had created a large pool for her in the basement.

A Saint Francis moment, indeed.

Saint Francis moments abound here on Blue Heron Farm, which we call this beautiful place.

We live on the meandering Conestoga River, bringing geese, heron, ducks and bird life to us in abundance. And Frogs, of course.

We have deer friends who are secure here after our eighteen years of residency.

One friend in particular is a deep brown color and we plant a tomato garden for her and her family every year.

She stands and looks at us in the early spring each year as if to say: Hey! Don't forget to plant my garden!!

Humans are not the most trustworthy species as far as deer are concerned.

The fifth aphorism of Pananjali states: "When a person is steadfast in his abstention from harming others, then all living creatures will cease to feel enmity in his presence."

The deer, racoons, geese, frogs and heron all use our property as a refuge.

They know they are safe and we marvel in their company.

Hanging out with these creatures of God-ess reminds me of Saint Francis and what I call the Saint Francis effect.

My dogs are the recipient of great love in what they teach us in this life time: unconditional love, forgiveness, and great patience in the face of human foible.

The greatest book ever written about Saint Francis is called: "God's Pauper: St. Francis of Assisi" by Nikos Kazantzakis, author of Zorba the Greek.

The book was out of print for many years but then was re-published in paperback in 1999. I got a copy as soon as I heard about it, circa 2002.

Reading the book transports consciousness to a mystical perspective.

The prologue of the book serves as an example:

"If I have omitted many of Francis's sayings and deeds and if I have altered others, and added still others which did not take place but which might have taken place, I have done so not out of ignorance or impudence or irreverence, but from a need to match the Saint's life with his myth, bringing that life as fully into accord with its essence as possible.

"Art has its right, and not only the right but the duty to subject everything else to its essence. It feeds upon the story, then assimilates it slowly, cunningly, and turns it into legend.

"While writing this legend which is truer than truth itself, I was overwhelmed by love, reverence and admiration for Francis, the hero and great martyr. Often large tears smudged the manuscript; often a hand hovered before me in the air, a hand with an eternally-renewed wound: someone seemed to have driven a nail through it, seemed to be driving a nail through it for all eternity.

"Everywhere about me, as I write, I sensed the Saint's invisible presence; because for me, Saint Francis is the model of the dutiful man, the man who by means of ceaseless, supremely cruel struggle, succeeds in fulfilling our highest obligation, something higher even than morality or truth or beauty: the obligation to transubstantiate the matter which God entrusted to us and turn it into spirit." Nikos Kazantzakis

Do we all have this same obligation? to transubstantiate the matter which God entrusts to us and turn it into spirit?

Only Nikos Kazantzakis could or would ask that question and have us wonder if we, too, can rise to this test of human potential?

Communing with the animals of Mother Nature these last eighteen years continues to be a spiritual practice: of being riveted in present moment reality, of experiencing compassion and love for all creatures great and small, and in these spaces of infinite awareness, we perceive the fragile preciousness of this world and beyond.

The Saint Francis statue which beautifies the flower garden is also a reminder of this fragile balance.

The Bullfrog in her new home typifies many more hours of grace as we care for her. The dogs know she is here to stay, probably knew this long before I did.

The Saint Francis effect is now clear. All of these years of animal communication and sharing the land and our home, and reading Nikos Kazantzakis's words today, has simplified this.

As we look to the Saints and in this case, Saint Francis for guidance, we are automatically transforming matter into spirit.

God-ess has entrusted this beautiful planet to us, our families, homes, our very lives; may we care and love and transform all of it and ask the infinite realms, which surround us at all times, to help us remember their guiding presence and to learn to access it the moment we ask.
About the Author:


Kate Loving Shenk is a writer, healer, musician and the creator of the e-book called "Transform Your Nursing Career and Discover Your Calling and Destiny." Click here to order the e-book:


Check Out Kate's Blog:




Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Channel for Love

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