Senin, 29 Oktober 2012

Relationships Tips What Men Need To Know

Women want to experience real love at least once in their lifetime. A blessed few get to meet Mr. Right. A blessed few get to keep Mr. Right. It may have been perpetuated by childhood stories of 'happily ever after' - where the fairy tale prince takes her princess away from the drudgery of her life. Yes, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty continue to be popular even in modern times. Unfortunately, not all men know or understand this. Some men are simply clueless on what to do. Now, if a man wants more from his current relationship, he needs to work at it. When the intensity dies down, a relationship can get boring - so keep it exciting and keep her ever in love. Below are some relationships tips what men need to know -- Tip #1: If A Woman Loves You, She Accepts You For Who You Are When in a serious relationship, a woman in love accepts everything she knows about her man - yes the whole package. In this case, you need not worry about past sins. She will probably have forgiven you for them. You ought to concentrate instead on living your new life as a couple. Tip #2: If A Woman Loves You, She Will Seek To Please You If your woman has talents, she will use them to show how much she truly loves you. If she can cook, she will feed you all your favorite dishes. If she sings, she will sing all your favorite tunes. If she writes, she will pen love notes throughout your relationship. She will in fact seek to please you because you make her feel alive; you give her inspiration. Tip #3: If A Woman Loves You, She Will Change for the Better If your lady love has lived a not-so-virtuous-life, she will change without prodding - not because you asked her to, but because she wants to. Love does strange things to people. In this case, she will want a better life. If she cares to, she will alter her lifestyle and transform into the type of woman she believes you deserve. Tip #4: If A Woman Loves You, She Can Be Territorial One of the perplexing relationships tips what men need to know is a woman's male-like need to claim ownership. Yes she is territorial. What is hers remains hers until she no longer wishes it. She will probably confront perceived encroachers (with or without your knowledge). In her mind, jealousy doesn't equate to lack of trust. It is a sign of her intense feelings. She hates the thought of having to share your affections with others. She considers you to be her exclusive property when in the relationship. Tip #5: If A Woman Loves You, She Is Willing To Go the Extra Mile When problems arise, expect your woman to stick by your side and go the extra mile to support you in your endeavors. Many of the relationships tips what men need to know are instinctively felt or known. Sensitivity allows a man to address resulting conflicts - and keep his woman forever by his side and in love with him. If you are looking for information on relationships tips what men need to know, click on the link. Or visit Related Articles - relationships, tips, what, men, need, to, know,

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In Protection of Soul mate Love

At this time, I’m penning this from the position of being resistive. Yep, I find myself a little bit of defensive and preventive about the conscious and intentional process on how can I find my soul mate. How come? Simply because through this society, many people don’t often believe in soul mates. I’ve received loads of flak through the years from folks that inform me it’s not even simple to find your soul mate. First, I’d like to talk about my definition of a partner. I really believe that there may be two or more partner for you. I feel that there's possibly a large number, if it's not thousands of soul mates to be found for you… and unfortunately your assignment is only to clear out the barricades to captivating ONE of them. And then your soul mate would be the correct match just for you. This doesn’t mean that two of you agree with all the things, but it really does mean that you two tell common principles and are picking same ambitions in your love affair and family life. On this community, we all have been conditioned for mediocre relationships with plenty of drama. Just simply switched on your TV, look at your typical publication, play your common popular music and you’ll discover how you’re taught to NOT attract your partner. To find the correct man for you, you’ll have to do a little something beyond your “norm”- since the “norm” is negative and unsafe relationships. This is why Johnny and I give you our telecourses and our workshops- to help you to step apart from precisely what is “normal” and lastly bring the one you love. The truth is, we usually tend to evaluate your heartbreaks that you’ve received as a true blessing. Say what??! Yep, your heartbreaks acquire a huge amount of magic in them and might enable you to find out what you ought to do on how can I find my soul mate love. We now have designed a FREE 4 part video clip series coming up through the fall for you, termed as Magic of Heartbreak. Click HERE for additional information and then be a part of it. Related Articles - how, can, I, find, my, soul, mate,

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3 Main Reasons Why Men Pull Away From Relationships

Why men pull away is an issue that almost all women would likely ask in the course of a romantic relationship or in marriage. She worries that she has done something wrong or haven't done just as much as she could, feeling that the main reason he pulls away is somehow her fault. You can always find good and bad in a relationship and below are some of the reasons why men draw back in relationships. 1. Finding Faults Everytime Some males are very sensitive and prideful toward criticisms. They might unlike women who find faults along with them on a regular basis, this is especially therefore if the lady criticize her partner in front of his friends. Place yourself in their shoes, think about it, could you want your man to uncover fault along with you all the time? Do not forget that no one is perfect including you. Finding problems and criticizing him too often may cause tension in your relationship. Don't even think about wanting him to change but instead provide him space to grow. 2. Personal Stress Pressure might be one good reason why your man is pulling away from the relationship. When placed directly under unnecessary pressure, men often shun away or distance themselves from these situations. Particularly in cases where the woman pressures their significant other to bring their relationship to another level like stepping into a marital relationship, the person might bow under pressure and pull away from the relationship. Handle things naturally and the next step and level in the relationship will unfold as time ignore. By then, two of you will be ready for another step in a lovely relationships. 3. Personal Issues From time to time the catch is not with you, so do not worry and stay sensitive about it. One of the main reasons is that they are dealing with their own individual requirements in other elements of life, causing him to fret on them and this affects his mood for love. Women may go through that this is one of the most severe reasons as there is nothing that you can do to solve the dilemma. The only thing which she is able to do is usually to support him in all decisions, have confidence in him and let him use the time and space to stay these personal problems. Though it might be difficult to provide him that space and flexibility, take this chance to possess some alone time doing the things you enjoy or plan a night out with your girlfriends. Your spouse will certainly comprehend the space and time for it to solve his problems. And finally, Discover How To Get A Guy To Like You, and keep him devoted for GOOD without losing your dignity or chasing after him, please watch this FREE video presentation at Related Articles - why men pull away, catch him and keep him, how to keep your man, why do men pull away, why guys pull away, why do guys pull away from you,

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Rabu, 08 Agustus 2012

Communication in a Relationship

by: Michael Brady Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks. Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person. Do you identify with any of these statements? "He never listens to me when I talk!" "She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!" "It's like talking to a brick wall" "I can't get through to you" "We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight" "She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. It's easier to avoid her" "He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues" Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc. Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process. Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication 1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings. 2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience. 3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts. 4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions. 5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc. "The medium is the message" => the way the message is delivered is the message itself. 6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions. Listening and Feedback Did I say what I meant to say? - Invite feedback to clarify communication. Someone who's not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact. Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. This equates to the accusation of "not listening". Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing. Don't argue when you're angry - you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind. It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback. If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions! Conflict Resolution Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive. Destructive Style - hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process: Confrontational (win or lose, blaming) Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming) Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal) Giving in (passive, submissive) Avoidance (denial, withdrawal) Constructive Style – trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems: Compromise (meet halfway, understanding) Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation) Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty) When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers. When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn’t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful: 1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn’t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don’t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument! 2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it. 3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as “I feel…” rather than “I think you…” 4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you. 5. Create multiple solutions. Don’t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension. 6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other. 7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn’t work – go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest. 8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue. Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled. Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don't dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents. 19 Steps to Effective Communication 1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down. 2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap) 3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding. 4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person’s worth as a human being. “Avoid statements which begin with the words “You never …” or “I think you …”. 5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness. 6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with “You always …” 7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done. 8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception) 9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you – especially if you are not sure. 10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments. 11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences. 12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game. 13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood. 14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, “you shouldn’t feel like that.” 15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person’s feelings. 16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing. 17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others. 18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining. 19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing. Summary As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.

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Senin, 05 Maret 2012

How Love Can Make You More Beautiful

Ever heard of the saying “love makes the world go round”? It may be true, but do you believe that love makes a person more beautiful? Ask any beauty icon about her beauty secret and she will tell you that how a woman feels inside shows outside. In truth, a person who feels loved and in love will have a different aura. They refer to this as a “gleam in one’s eye or a glow in one’s cheeks”, and is something that improves a person‘s appearance. It is not necessary for a person to feel the “man and woman” type of love to be beautiful: it can be filial love or love for anything. What is important is that you have a powerful feeling that transforms heaven and earth and a person’s sense of well-being. Imagine how you would look if you possess the knowledge that no one cares for you or loves you: this depressed feeling can make you want to frown and look depressed and/or angry. On the contrary, a person who feels that he is loved by his family, his friends or by a special someone, will have a face that speaks of serenity, peace and happiness. The glow of love does not only create a glow in one’s heart but it also creates a glow in one’s face and reflects how a person views the world around him. A lighter feeling inside can result in a lighter face and a happy disposition that will improve one’s appearance. Haven’t you noticed that almost all women look their prettiest on their wedding day? Despite the pressure and the hustle and bustle of wedding preparations, a woman will still look beautiful on her wedding day. They call it the glow of love. It may be the rush of adrenalin that gives people who are in love a special glow that makes their eyes sparkle, or their smiles brighter. It is often referred to as an inner beauty that is reflected in one’s appearance. A person who feels loved or who is in love will have more self esteem than an ordinary person. This self esteem can give a person a beautiful glow that exudes more confident when facing others and in doing his daily tasks. A person who exerts a great deal of effort to do the most mundane tasks will probably become happier doing those tasks when he is in love. Consequently work is accomplished more easily. While beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, true beauty is in the eyes of a person in love. This free article is provided by the Free Articles Directory for educational purposes ONLY! It cannot be reprinted or redistributed under any circumstances. Article Copyright By Author. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

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